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张培基英译散文赏析之《养成好习惯》

沪江英语 2017-11-23 13:57
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养成好习惯      梁实秋 

Cultivating Good Habits        Liang Shiqiu

| 译文摘自张培基《英译中国散文选二》

人的天性大致是差不多的,但是在习惯方面却各有不同,习惯是慢慢养成的,在幼小的时候最容易养成,一旦养成之后,要想改变过来却还不很容易。
Men are about the same in human nature, but differ in habit. Habit is formed little by little, and most easily in one’s childhood. Once it is formed, it is difficult to break.

例如说:清晨早起是一个好习惯,这也要从小时候养成,很多人从小就贪睡懒觉,一遇假日便要睡到日上三竿还高卧不起,平时也是不肯早起,往往蓬首垢面的就往学校跑,结果还是迟到,这样的人长大了之后也常是不知振作,多半不能有什么成就。祖逖闻鸡起舞,那才是志士奋励的榜样。
For example, the good habit of early rising also starts from one’s early life. Many people, however, have been in the habit of sleeping late ever since they were kids. They won’t get up till late morning on holidays and even oversleep on work days. Children are often late for school though they make a rush even without washing up. Such children, when they grow up, will often lack drive and most probably get nowhere. The story of Zu Ti1 rising at cockcrow to practise swordplay should be a good example for all men of resolve to learn from.

要点
1,“贪睡懒觉”译为sleeping late,如:Your headache comes from sleeping late.
即,你的头疼是睡懒觉的结果.
2,“一遇假日便要睡到日上三竿还高卧不起”直译的话会让外国人摸不着头脑,因此采取意译的方式译为They won’t get up till late morning on holidays
3,“蓬头垢面”意即“没有洗漱和整理”,也是不宜直译的一个词,现按意思译为without washing up。
4,“往往蓬首垢面的就往学校跑,结果还是迟到”可理解为一个让步句“尽管他们没有洗漱就往学校跑,仍旧是迟到”译为Children are often late for school though they make a rush even without washing up
5,“闻鸡起舞”即“听见鸡叫就起来舞剑”译为rising at cockcrow to practise swordplay,另“祖逖”是带有中国特色的词汇,宜采用释义法或加注法,此处因为释义法会造成句子的冗杂,译者采取了加脚注的方法
6,“志士”即“意志坚强者”译为men of resolve,resolve也可换为strong will,determination,aspiration。

综述:本段俗语,四字词,涉及中国特色的词汇稍多,对于一些不好翻译的四字词可采取“迂回战术”取其在语境中的意思来翻

我们中国人最重礼,因为礼是行为的规范。礼要从家庭里做起。姑举一例:为子弟者“出必告,反必面”,这一点点对长辈的起码的礼,我们是否已经每日做到了呢?我看见有些个孩子们早晨起来对父母视若无睹,晚上回到家来如入无人之境,遇到长辈常常横眉冷目,不屑搭讪。这样的跋扈乖戾之气如果不早早的纠正过来,将来长大到社会服务,必将处处引起摩擦不受欢迎。我们不仅对长辈要恭敬有礼,对任何人都应维持相当的礼貌。
We Chinese set great store by propriety because it is the accepted rules of social behavior. Propriety begins from the family. For example, children should keep their parents informed of their whereabouts. That is the ABC of good manners on the part of children. Yet some children just ignore their parents when they get up in the morning or come back from school. They often pull a long face and refuse to converse when they meet their elders. If they continue to be so cocky and willful without correcting themselves as soon as possible, they will never get along well with other people some days as members of society. We should be polite not only to our elders, but also to all people.

要点
1,为子弟者“出必告,反必面”即“孩子出门或回家必须向家长说一声”或“必须告知家长”,译为children should keep their parents informed of their bout意为“行踪”
2,“起码的礼”译得很有意思,为the ABC of good manners,其中ABC作“基础知识”讲,意同basics,fundametals
3,“我们是否已经每日做到了呢?”表面上是反问,实则是否定,译者将其的意思体现在了下文里,因此没有译出,保持了行文的简洁
4,“视若无睹”和“如入无人之境”都表示“忽视父母”,译为ignore their parents即可
5,“将来长大到社会服务,必将处处引起摩擦不受欢迎”即“将来在社会上不能与他人和睦相处”,译为they will never get along well with other people some days as members of society

综述:注意本段“起码的礼”采用的套用法。

大声讲话,扰及他人的宁静,是一种不好的习惯。我们试自检讨一番,在别人读书工作的时候是否有过喧哗的行为?我们要随时随地为别人着想,维持公共的秩序,顾虑他人的利益,不可放纵自己,在公共场所人多的地方,要知道依次排队,不可争先恐后地去乱挤。
It is a bad habit to talk loudly to the disturbance of others. Ask yourself if you ever made a lot of noise while others were at their studies or at work. We should be considerate of others at all times and places, caring for public order and interests and abstaining from self-indulgence. In crowded public places, you should line up and never push through to get ahead of others.

要点
1,“大声讲话,扰及他人的宁静,是一种不好的习惯”译为It is a bad habit to talk loudly to the disturbance of others.其中to 表示”导致,致使”,表示引起某种后果
2,“不可放纵自己”= abstaining from self-indulgence使用的是一个形式上肯定、语义上否定的动词结构

时间即是生命。我们的生命是一分一秒的在消耗着,我们平常不大觉得,细想起来实在值得警惕。我们每天有许多的零碎时间于不知不觉中浪费掉了,我们若能养成一种利用闲暇的习惯,一遇空闲,无论其为多么短暂,都利用之做一点有益身心之事,则积少成多终必有成。常听人讲过“消遣”二字,最是要不得,好像是时间太多无法打发的样子,其实人生短促极了,哪里会有多余的时间待人“消遣”?陆放翁有句云:“待饭未来还读书。”我知道有人就经常利用这“待饭未来”的时间读了不少的大书。古人所谓“三上之功”,枕上、马上、厕上,虽不足为训,其用意是在劝人不要浪费光阴。
Time is life. Our life is ticking away unnoticed minute by minute and second by second. It is certainly alarming when we come to think of it. Every day we are unconsciously wasting many odd moments. We should acquire the habit of utilizing leisure time, and snatch every odd moment to do whatever is beneficial to our body and mind. That will enable us to achieve good results little by little. People often talk most improperly about “seeking relaxation” as if they had more than enough time for them to while away. Life is, in fact, extremely short. How can you find so much surplus time for you to fool away? Lu Fangweng says in one of his poems, “Spend even the pre-meal odd moment in reading.” As far as I know, many people did snatch the odd moment before a meal to do a lot of reading. Our ancients recommended “three on’s”, that is, doing reading even while you are on a pillow, on a horse or on a nightstool. All that, though impracticable, serves the purpose of advising people not to waste time.

要点

1,“零碎时间”=odd time,下文的odd moment
2,“讲起‘消遣’二字”译为talk most improperly about “seeking relaxation”,此处“消遣”译为relaxation,其本意为“休息,娱乐”
2,“最是要不得”意即“是最不合适的”译为most improperly
3, “待饭未来还读书。”即“饭前片刻也要用来读书”= Spend even the pre-meal odd moment in reading.
4,“三‘上’之功”可直译为three ‘ons’,因为之后有对这个词的具体解释
5,“虽不足为训”本作“虽不足效法”,但此处作者的意思是“现在无法实施”,故译为though impracticable
6,“其用意是在……”= serves the purpose of doing

综述:tick away这类词用得生动且形象,值得学习借鉴。

吃苦耐劳是我们这个民族的标志。古圣先贤总是教训我们要能过得俭朴的生活,一个有志的人之能耐得清寒。这在个人之修养上是应有的认识,罗马帝国盛时的一位皇帝,Marcus Aurelius,他从小就摒绝一切享受,从来不参观那当时风靡全国的赛车比武之类的娱乐,终其身成为一位严肃的苦修派的哲学家,而且也建立了不朽的事功。这是很值得钦佩的,我们中国是一个穷的国家,所以我们更应该体念艰难,弃绝一切奢侈,尤其是从外国来的奢侈。从小就养成俭朴的习惯,更要知道物力维艰,竹头木屑,皆宜爱惜。
Ours is a nation known for industry and self-denial. Frugality has always been the teaching of our ancient sages and wise men. A man of strong will should be able to endure Spartan living conditions. It should not be regarded as a disgrace to live a simple life. Nor should it be regarded as a glory to live a luxurious life. That should be the correct understanding one needs for self-cultivation. Marcus Aurelius, emperor of the Roman Empire in its heyday, refused to enjoy all comforts of life from childhood and always keep kept away from amusements like the chariot race then in vogue and other fighting-skill competitions. He remained a life-long staunch Stoic philosopher and meanwhile distinguished himself by numerous exploits. Ours is a poor country, so it is even more necessary for us to see the tough conditions facing us and renounce all luxuries, especially those coming from abroad. We should build up the habit of leading a thrifty life. We should bear in mind that all material resources are hard to come by and should be treasured, even including their odds and ends.

要点
1,“吃苦耐劳是我们这个民族的标志”译为Ours is a nation known for industry and self-denial.这种句式转换之前在《话说短文》中也出现过“…是中华民族的传统”也用了此句式。
2,“一个有志的人之能耐得清寒”译为A man of strong will should be able to endure Spartan living conditions.其中spartan或Spartan译为“斯巴达的,斯巴达式的”以及“艰苦朴素”解
3,“恶衣恶食,不足为耻,丰衣足食,不足为荣”= It should not be regarded as a disgrace to live a simple life. Nor should it be regarded as a glory to live a luxurious life.注意否定+Nor的使用
4,“体念艰难”即“我们更需看到面临的灾难”,故译it is even more necessary for us to see the tough conditions facing us
5,“物力维艰”指财物来之不易,译为all material resources are hard to come by
6,odds and ends意即“零碎的东西,杂七杂八的东西”

综述:注意本段句式的灵活性

以上数端不过是偶然拈来,好的习惯千头万绪,“勿以善小而不为”。习惯养成之后,便毫无勉强,临事心平气和,顺理成章。充满良好习惯的生活,才是合于“自然”的生活
The above points have been picked by me at random. Good habits are too numerous to be dealt with one by one, but none, however, are too small to keep. Habit, once formed, will become your natural and spontaneous behaviour. A life full of good habits will be a life conforming with the law of nature.

要点
1,“千头万绪”形容事情复杂纷乱,译为are too numerous to be dealt with one by one
2,…but none, however, are too small to keep.其中none too意为“一点也不”

综述
四字词众多,使得文章的可读性增强,翻译时要在尽量保持原文意思的情况下,从句式和选词上体现其文学性
1. Zu Ti, a patriotic general of the Jin Dynasty (317-420 A.D.). He was good friends with Liu Kun, another general. When they were young, being petty officials but highly motivated, they often encouraged each other and both rose at cockcrow to pratise swordplay. 

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