沪江

学会对这些事情说“不”,工作生活更美好

沪江英语编辑:糖果姐 2017-09-21 12:44
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I’m a people pleaser. It’s hard for me to say "no" to people who ask for something -- despite a reluctance inside of me. This has gotten me into trouble more than a few times in life and especially in business. Time is precious and slips by quickly but there is also no lack of things that have to get done in an entrepreneur's life.
我总懂得如何取悦别人,对于我来说,我无法对别人的要求说“不”——尽管我的内心是拒绝的。就是这种性格让我在生活中遭遇到不少麻烦,尤其是做生意的时候。时间很珍贵,它也很快速地流逝,但是企业家的生涯也不缺乏需要完成的事情。

For 12 years, I took life a day at a time. I had a dream but no goals for making it real. I just woke up each day hoping for something more. In 2011, I had had enough and began chasing my dream of starting a lifestyle business. This meant more work on top of a service business that took 60-80 hours of my week. It didn’t take long for me to realize that something had to give. I had to learn how to say no to open up room for the things that were important. Seeing how much time and energy was freed by saying no, I started looking at all the other areas of my life. Here are six things I said no to. Saying no helped me live a much better life and create the kind of business that I love.
曾经有长达12年的时间,我每天都要牺牲自己生命的一段时间。我有梦想,但是没有实现它的目标。我只会每天醒来希望更多。在2011年,我觉得受够了,开始追逐我的梦想,开启一段居家生意之旅。这就意味着在服务业生意上我需要完成更多的工作,每周花上60-80个小时。没过多久,我意识到有些事情必须要付出。我不得不学会如何说“不”,为重要的事情腾出空间。了解到拒绝以后所腾出的时间与能量是如此之多,我开始察看我生活中的其他方面。下面的6件事情是我拒绝过的。拒绝帮助我过上一个更舒适的生活,并且创办了我所喜爱的生意。

1. Other people’s baggage.
1. 别人的包袱。

Life is hard for all of us. Sometimes it’s easier to push your baggage onto someone else, maybe even without you realizing it. If you are trying to make changes in your life and someone reacts a certain way because of their baggage, it’s up to you to say "no". You don’t need any more drama in your life. For me, this meant ignoring some people on social media and purging negative people from my life. It meant ending the business partnerships that were not in alignment with the direction I was taking my business.
生活总会折腾人。有时候你把自己的包袱丢给别人是相当容易的事情,也许你甚至不会意识到。如果你正尝试改变生活中的某些方面,而某人由于他们的包袱,采取某种回应方式,那么你具有说“不”的权利。你的生活不需要任何额外的戏剧性效果。对于我来说,这就意味着在社交媒体上无视一些人,清除生命中那些负面的人。这意味着结束那些与我的生意方向不一致的商务人际关系。

2. Situations that I knew would make me angry.
2. 那些让我生气的情况。

There are things in life that you know you don’t want to do. For years, I just rolled with it. I went to gatherings and hung out with people who I knew would make me angry. I got on "get-to-know-you" calls with entrepreneurs who were all talk and no action. I entered into collaborations with business owners that weren't serious. When I said enough and stopped, it felt like a weight was lifted off of my shoulders. It freed my mind and business and helped me focus.
生活中你总会遇到一些你不想去做的事情。有许多年,我都凑合着适应它。我参加各种聚会,与那些让我不爽的人打交道。我应邀参加那些夸夸其谈毫无行动的企业家们的“初次见面”聚会。我和那些不认真的企业所有人建立联系。当我说“够了”并停下来的时候,我感觉就像是拿下了肩膀上的重担。释放我的心灵,解救我的生意,帮助我专注到重要的事情上。

3. A business that I absolutely hated.
3. 一盘让我绝对会讨厌的生意。

I had a service business in the vendor industry for 12 years and hated it. I felt stuck and believed that someone like me -- a high school dropout -- couldn’t do better. In 2011, I said "no" more and worked hard for four years to make my dream of being a global lifestyle entrepreneur a reality. I now wake up loving what I get to do for work and traveling the world. Saving no led to happier days.
我曾经在供应行业经营了12年服务生意,我当时很讨厌它。我感觉自己被困住了,也相信有人像我一样——一名高中辍学生——无法办得更好了。在2011年,我说“不”的频率变多了,然后辛勤工作了4年,让我成为全球居家企业家的梦想成为了现实。如今,我早上醒来,爱着自己的工作,环游全世界。学会拒绝让我过上更幸福的生活。

4. Unhealthy habits that felt good.
4. 那些感觉很棒的不健康习惯。

I love food. I said yes to junk food and no to healthier choices. This, as you can imagine, led to major weight gain. At one point, I was 193 pounds overweight. I started saying no to unhealthy choices and started exercising, I've lost 121 pounds so far this year. Today, I have more energy, focus and confidence. Life is better. I wake up ready to work on my business. I feel great when I travel for consulting presentations at multinational corporations.
我喜欢吃东西。我很喜欢垃圾食品,讨厌健康食品。这么来说,你可以想象得到,就会导致明显的增肥。有一度,我超重193磅。然后我开始对不健康的食品说“不”,并开始锻炼,然后这一年以来我已经减去121磅了。如今,我有更多能量,专注力更好,更有自信。生活也过得更美好了。我醒来之后就已经为我的工作做好了准备。当我去旅行参与跨国企业的咨询师展示会时,我的感觉非常棒。

5. Toxic relationships.
5. 有毒的人际关系。

Purging negative people from my life and saying no to what they tried to project into my life led to relief and happiness. These relationships included romantic relationships, friendships and business connections. It was hard, but I had to say no. Toxic people will keep you off track and make your life unenjoyable. Purge negativity from your life and business whenever it’s possible.
清除生命中的负面人群,拒绝他们试图投射到我生活中的东西,让我感到如释重负与幸福满满。这些人际关系包括情侣关系,朋友关系还有商务伙伴关系。虽然这是很困难的事情,但是我不得不拒绝。有毒的人们会让你脱离轨道,让你的生活一点都不美好。请在有必要的时候清除生活和生意中的负面能量。

6. Holding onto the past.
6. 沉湎于过去。

I had a messed up childhood that involved physical and mental abuse. I chose to be homeless at 17 instead of continuing to be beaten with lamp cords. The demons from my past threatened to destroy me as I grew into an adult. I had to let go. I had to say no a lot more. I had to forgive to begin the healing process. I don’t know what you have or are facing. I do know that to heal, you have to let go.
我的童年一塌糊涂,充满着身体与心理的折磨。在17岁的时候我决定离家出走,而不是继续留在那里被人用电线殴打。过去生活中的那些恶魔威胁着我,妨碍我成长成为大人。我不得不放下这些事情。我还得多拒绝它们。我必须宽恕,才能开启我的治愈疗程。我不知道你不得不面对或者正在面对的是什么,我只知道想要治愈,你必须放下过去。

Just because you’re saying no right now doesn’t mean you’ll have to say no forever. Life has seasons, and some are busier than others. The point is to make sure you’re doing the things you want to do and that lead to the kind of life and business you want.
现在仅仅说“不”并不意味着你总是拒绝。生命有四季,有时快乐,有时艰难。重点在于你要确定自己正在做着你想做的事情,并且能够过上自己想过的生活,做着自己想做的生意。

Don’t let other people’s motives make decisions for you. This is your life. This is your business. You get to decide. Say no to things that don’t make sense for you. Say no to things that don’t feel right to you. Trust your intuition. You know whether or not you want to do something. Don’t be pressured into saying yes.
不要让他人的动机为你做决定。这是你自己的生活,这是你自己的生意。你要自己做决定。对那些没有用处的事情要说不。对那些你感到不对劲的事情说不。相信你的直觉。你知道自己想不想做某件事。不要迫于压力去顺从。

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