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考前30天狂背作文 第三章 范文点评(51)

恩波 2007-09-30 14:31
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Direction 24

Study the following picture carefully and write an essay in which you should:

1. describe the picture,

2. interpret the meaning of the picture;

3. make your comments.

You should write 160~200 words neatly on ANSWER SHEET 2.

审题:

订阅收藏《考研英语考前30天狂背作文》系列文章

《踢皮球》图画题最常见的有两种情况,一是写世间的哲理,一是写常见的社会现象或社会问题,这里是后一种情形。简单的图画,深刻的寓意--这是当前图画题最主要的趋势之一。

拿到这个题目后,我们认为它和其它的一些题目反映的情况不尽相同--随着市场经济的发展,顾客被生产者和销售商推来搡去的现象已大有改观,所以我们可以这样来安排全文--首段描述图画,次段以自身感受为基础,描述过去的这种情形,第三段写现在已经大为改善的情况,末段下结论。

Sample:

The picture describes a match of kicking the ball: the person on the left has just kicked the ball toward the person on the right, who has already been ready to kick the ball back. A close examination will help us find out that this is a match between the producer and the seller-both of them refuse to take on the responsibility whenever the customer reports a problem.

We can't forget those days in the past when we went shopping. The shop assistant was so cold and indifferent that we usually had to wait for long. We often had no right of comparing and selecting. Later when we found there was something wrong with the product, the chance of getting it exchanged was slim, not to mention returning it to the shop. The shop always said the producer was to blame, and if we went to the producer directly, the latter would say that it was not common practice for a customer to contact the producer. Even if we finally succeeded in exchanging the product, it always took too much time and wasted too much energy.

In the present environment of market economy, we are happy to see that the situation in our nation has improved significantly. When a customer is not satisfied with a product, he is entitled to return it to the store and get refunded during a certain period of time. If that time limit has passed, the customer still has the right to get the product exchanged.

In this era of fast economic development, both the producer and the seller should first cater to the needs of the customer. Anyone who fails to do so will be driven out of the market sooner or later.

点评:

首段先写看到一场足球比赛,而后仔细一看,原来是生产者和销售商在产品质量出现问题时将消费者推来搡去。

第二段用六句话描述我们曾经有过的痛苦的经历。第一句话是个引子。第二、三句描写购物时不愉快的经历。第四句说发现质量问题后,要换非常麻烦,更用不着说是退了。第五句话生动地再现了销售者和生产商都拒绝负责的情形。末句说即使最后商品得以调换,也花费了大量的时间和精力--话语中充满了无奈。

第三段说现在的情况已大幅改善。顾客有权在一段时间内退货,如果期限已过,也可以换货。段中be entitled to表示"有权利做某事",refund表示"退款"。

末段总结。第一句说在这个经济快速发展的时期,生产商和销售商都应把顾客的需求放在首位。第二句反过来说,任何做不到的人都迟早会被市场淘汰。

心得:

首段由远及近的写法非常有效。第二段以时间为线索,描述了过去不愉快的经历。这一段以时间为线索,所以即使句子较多,也丝毫不显得凌乱。第三段说明了现在的情形,与第二段形成鲜明的对比。末段正说加反说的办法很有说服力。

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