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冲击波英语专四系列:作文之范文赏析——在校打工

2012-12-12 09:37
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题目:Work While Study

写作要求

In some countries, teenagers have jobs while they are still students. Do you think this is a good idea? Support your opinion by using specifi c reasons and details.

Write on Answer Sheet Two a composition of about 200 words on the following topic:

Work While Study

You are to write in three parts.

In the fi rst part, state specifi cally what your idea is.

In the second part, provide reasons to support your opinion OR describe your idea.

In the last part, bring what you have written to a natural conclusion or a summary.

Marks will be awarded for content, organization, grammar and appropriateness. Failure to follow the instructions may result in a loss of marks.

审题思路

本题是一道观点选择型A/B 的题 目,论述在校青少年打工是否适合 ,本题可以从 以下

两方面入手 :

思路1:青少年应该打工虽然打工会 占用他们 的时间 ,但也可以为他们带来好处 :1……2……3……

思路2 :青少年不应该打工虽然打工会有一定 的益处 ,但是弊端更多 :1……2……3……

范文赏析

Work While Study

In many countries it is common for teenagers to take part-time jobs while they are still in high school, while in other societies this is virtually unheard of. n my opinion, students benefit more from a more balanced lifestyle, which may include working at a part-time job. Therefore, I believe that it is a good idea for students to work while studying.

引言部分:作者先提出这个争议的话题 ,并开门见山地亮出自己的观点:青少年打工是有益的。

While it is true that a student’s most important goal must be to learn and to do well at his studies, it does not need to be the only goal. In fact, a life which consists of only study is not balanced and may cause the student to miss out on other valuable learning experiences. In addition to bringing more balance to a student’s life, part-time work can broaden his range of experience. He will have the opportunity to meet people from all walks of life and will be faced with8 a wider variety of problems to solve. Furthermore, work helps a student to develop greater independence, and earning his own pocket money can teach him how to handle his finances. Finally, a part-time job can help a student to develop a greater sense of responsibility, both for his own work and for that of the team he works with.

主体部分 :作者采取了欲扬先抑的做法 :先肯定学生的主要任务是学习,然后驳斥那种把学习当作学生惟一目标的观点,并列举了学生打工可以目标的观点,并列举了学生打工可以列举法的配合使用使作者的观点非常有说服力。

For all of these reasons, I firmly believe that most students would benefi t from taking a part-time job while they are in high school. Of course, they must be careful not to let it take up too much of their time because study is still their primary responsibility.

总结部分 : 作者用for all of these reasons 做承上启下的连接,并再次重申自己的观点 :只要不占用太多时间,打工是个益处多多的事情。

亮点回放

1.  virtually: “几乎 、实际上” ;近义词有nearly ,almost ,practically ,nearly和almost是常用词 ,virtually和practically更为书面些 ,同学们在写作时可以尽量使用后两者 。

2.  unheard of: “没听说过的” ;这里要注意hear  of  (听说 )和hear  about  (听到 )之间的区别 。

3.  balanced: “平衡 的、均衡 的、和谐 的” ;常用搭配有balanced diet/life/development 。

4.  consist of: “包括” ;近义词有be composed of ,be made up of。

5.  miss out on: “错失 、错过” ;此处很多同学会误用成miss ,该词的使用能体现出作者对词组的良好把握 。

6.  broaden : “扩大、变宽” ;常用搭配为broaden the road/experience/vision  (拓宽道路、增广见识 、开阔视野 )。

7.  all walks of life: “各行各业”;people from all walks of life表示  “来 自各行各业的人”。

8.  be faced with: “面对” ;相当于have to face或者be confronted wih 。

9.  finance:  财源、资产” ;该词 的使用能体现出作者较大的词汇量 。

10. take up : “占去” ;近义词为occupy ,注意这里很多同学会误用成take。

11. primary: “首要的、初级的” ;这里表示首要的,这里的primary responsibility与上段中提到的only goal其实是同一个意思,不过使用不同的表述方式能使文章富有变化。此处的primary也可以用chief,major,sole等替换。

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