Clerk in a post office, after weighing the letter: 'That letter's too heavy. You'll have to put another stamp on it.' Man: 'What's the good of that? If I put another stamp on it, that will only make it heavier, won't it?'
'What are you doing, my dear?' said a mother to her four-year-old daughter. 'I'm writing a letter to Helen,' the little girl answered. 'But dear,' said the mother, 'you don't know how to write.' The little girl continued to make marks on the paper with her pencil and answered: 'Well, Helen doesn't know how to read, so it doesn't make any difference.'
A school inspector was visiting an English class one day. He found some students were not sure about how to put the letters i or e in the words like receive, believe, and ceiling. He said: 'Students, I can give you a rule. It always works well for me.' The students were very interested. Even the teacher seemed eager to learn this important rule. The inspector continued: 'It is simply this: Write the i and the e exactly alike and then put the dot in the middle over them.'
邮局的工作人员称过信后：“这封信太重了。你需要再贴一张邮票。” 寄信人：“那样做有什么好处？如果我在信上再贴一张邮票，岂不是更重了？”
“做什么呢，宝贝？”妈妈问她四岁的女儿。 “我在给海伦写信，”小姑娘回答。 “可是宝贝，”妈妈说，“你不知道怎么写。” 小姑娘继续用铅笔在纸上涂画，答道：“哦，海伦不认识字，所以会写不会写都一样。”
一天，有个学校巡视员在视察一堂英语课时，发现有些学生拿不准像“receive”、“believe”和“ceiling”这些单词中的字母i和e什么在前，什么在后。他说：“同学们，我可以告诉你们一个规律。这个规律对我来说很管用。”学生们很感兴趣，甚至老师也急于想知道这个重要的规律。巡视员接着说：“很简单： 把i和e写得很相像，然后在它们上面中间的地方点个点。”