雅思作文批改的时候要看哪些技巧呢？我们该怎样写才能避免这些错误呢？我们每个人都应该对于即将来的考试做好准备，这样在考试的时候我们就能万无一失了。下面是一篇作文批改的实例，有很多的标记之处，我们看好这些标记之后，再去好好的仿写。
作文点评
Facing many international pollution issues such as the energy shortage and global warming, some people believe that individuals have limited abilities to deal with that issue, compared with the nations and society.
To what extent do you agree or disagree?
第一段太啰嗦，浪费了很多字数
An increasing amount of 后面才可以用不可数名词
行文表达太过口语化
With rapidlyrapid economic development, an increasing numberamount of pollution that has international impacts has arousedmotivated people to pay more attention to environmental protection. People excessively exploit the natural resources due to the big gap between economic development demand and natural source supply. I am amazed when I heared(this is too informal) Some people saying that individuals have no contribution to make to cope with international pollution. As for me, In my opinion, nothing is further from the truth than this view.
第二段论证不充分，把浪费在第一段的语句用在充分论证第一个分论点
写作中不可用缩写
In the first place, everyone can help to reduce pollution and do their bit for the environment. In other words, if every individual has the sense of environmental protection, we can make a great contribution to environment protection (don't repeat nouns like this) protecting it and controlling pollution (this has been changed to make it a gerund and therefore parallel with 'protecting it') control. For example, turning lights off when you'reyou are(don't abbreviate) not in the room can save a lot of energy. Not leaving televisions, stereos and computers on standby with the little red light, even though they might look like they are turned off. Don’t look down on these actions. (this last phrase is too informal).
第三段只写了政府的责任，没有继续写个人的责任。
In the Secondly place, environmental protection needs everyones attention. A green environment is the system which is runmade possible by two important links- governments and citizens. Governments are taking major steps in environmental protection, such as introducing strict emission norms, penalties for industries which would cross emission limits, and strict automotive regulation. But all these efforts would will fail if we don’t cooperate with governments. If one link is active but the other link is inactive then the whole system cannot run properly. Both have to work together for an efficient system.
act as a cardinal link 表达太抽象
Above all, a conclusion can be madeIt can be concluded that everyone should take responsibility for environmental protection. Thus, I am firmly convinced that we are an important part of the link. If you understand this you can act as a cardinal link (not sure what you are saying here?).