同学你好，该知识点来自沪江网校《2025年11月CATTI笔译二级【签约班】》的课程，想要更系统的学习，欢迎进入课程学习。不仅可以和更多的同学一起学习，而且还有老师、助教随时的学习指导和知识点解答哦。

同学你好~
如果有多个问题，请分开提问，一次只针对一篇写作提问。
本次只批改第一篇，第二篇同学可以另外提交。

Now that the former headmaster, Mr.page will be retiring.
标点：Mr.page → Mr. Page 需空格
时态：will be retiring → is retiring现在进行时表将来更自然
结构：片段句，缺少主句
修改建议：
Now that the former headmaster, Mr. Page is retiring,

Pupils of the school, new and old who have contributed towards a gift will be sending him a large album with their signature and will be attending a farewell dinner in his honor.
冗长：重复will be
单复数：signature → signatures
未用给定连词and with
修改建议：
pupils — both new and old — have prepared a gift, an album with their signatures, and will attend a farewell dinner in his honour.

After having completed forty years as a teacher.
片段句，未衔接主句
修改建议
After having completed forty years as a teacher, 这里要用逗号，和下一句衔接起来

祝同学学习进步~