老师晚上好:这是我写的短文 ,请指正

网校学员w王李**在学习《雅思语法精讲【随到随学班】》时提出了此疑惑,已有2人帮助了TA。

网校助教

清醒季smile

同学你好,该知识点来自沪江网校《雅思语法精讲【随到随学班】》的课程,想要更系统的学习,欢迎进入课程学习。不仅可以和更多的同学一起学习,而且还有老师、助教随时的学习指导和知识点解答哦。

同学你好~
A plane crashed down the mountains, but...
down the mountains表达不自然。
修正: 改为in the mountains(更符合英语惯用表达)。

a young woman and her baby daughters were not hurt.
young可省略(非关键信息)
修正: 改为 a woman and her baby daughters—were not hurt(用连字符更紧凑)。

So it was mid-winter, it was extremely cold.
So多余,两短句可合并。
修正: 改为 It was mid-winter and extremely cold.(用 and连接更流畅)。

the young woman put children in case and covered them all clothes she could find out.
① the young woman→ 前文已提,改用 She;② in case应为 in a case(漏冠词);③ all clothes she could find out表达错误。
修正: 改为 She put the children in a case, covered them with clothes明确动作和介词)。

When planes passing overhead next morning, she had a idea.
① passing时态错误;② a idea应为 an idea。
修正: 改为 When planes were passing overhead the next morning, she had an idea.

She stamped out 'SOS,' on the snow.
标点符号混乱(中文逗号)。
修正: she stamped 'SOS' in the snow.(stamped out 多用于抽象意义,如 stamped out corruption)。

This was just seen by a pilot, who sent a message to the nearest town.
just冗余;to the nearest town 可省略(救援逻辑已隐含)。
修正: 改为This was seen by a pilot who sent a message.

祝同学学习进步~

网校学员

w王李**

这么及时的批改,真是好老师,谢谢🙏

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