同学你好，该知识点来自沪江网校《大学水平直达雅思7分【剑桥全能随到随学班】》的课程，想要更系统的学习，欢迎进入课程学习。不仅可以和更多的同学一起学习，而且还有老师、助教随时的学习指导和知识点解答哦。

同学你好~
标点符号和下一个单词之间空一格，逗号不连接句子，这两点请注意。

The distence of office to canteen is 100miles,the temperature  was like steam at11.30am when we wallked outdoors. 改为The distance from（从……） the office to the canteen is 100 miles. When we walked outdoors, the temperature was like steam at 11:30 a.m.

The kid wore sunscreen clothes and hold unbrella,who didn't wallk anymore.
改为：Wearing sun proof clothes and holding an umbrella, the child could hardly（几乎不） walk.

My colleague was willing carry him away at first,but she stoped and put him down,his mother asked him to wallk by himself in the middle of the distence.
改为：At first, my colleague wanted to hold him, but she stopped, put him down and let him walk this way by himself.

The boy still stood there not moving.His mother wanted to hold hands with him,but thing did not go as she had thought.
改为：The boy still stood there motionless（形容词做状语）. His mother wanted to hold hands with him, but things didn't go as she thought.

Her son hugged himself tightly,whom be pulled（从句和谓语使用错误） by his mother hard.
改为：Her son hugged himself tightly, and her mother pulled him hard.

He was crying sudenly,his mom persuded him not to cry,he began to beat up his mother.
改为：He suddenly cried. His mother advised him not to cry, and he began to beat his mother.

他的妈妈用手抓住他的胳膊和他讲话
His mother grabbed his arm and talked to him.

he hit his mother with head.This moment,  Iscared!Nowadays, kids express his feeling so directly! his action is not  as kid,it is actual andult!
改为：He hit his mother with his head. At that moment, I was scared! Nowadays, children express their feelings so directly! His behavior is not like a child, but more like an adult.

建议可以先缩短篇幅和句子的长度，从简单的句子开始写起哦

祝同学学习进步~