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同学好:
Breakfast is one of the most important meals in our
daily lives.
【daily life 更常见】
In order to have a further and
deeper discussion, we divided them into two groups according to the results
: group A-the students who don’t have breakfast, group B-the students who have breakfast regularly.
【further 是比较级,结合语境,deep 也应该用比较级;建议further 和deeper 取一个用即可,因为它们含义非常接近。results 后面可以用冒号】
3.Fastidious about the foods
for breakfast
【of 通常表示所属关系居多;这里用for 更恰当一些,“早餐吃的食物”】
Some students are not willing to eat
breakfast prepared at the school canteen or by their parents. They are fastidious about what they eat.
【这里用过去分词可以更简洁,句意适当扩展了一些(如果只是家长给孩子准备早餐的话,多数还是会准备孩子爱吃的食物的,为了让论据更充分,这里加了“学校餐厅”;另外留意断句】
The listed them as below.
【这里讲不通】
1.
Getting essential nutrition to be energetic
【这里是列举优点,一件件“… 事”,处理为名词性短语更恰当;absorb 是动词,“吸收”,强调这个动作,建议换成getting “获取”更符合语境】
They
understand that breakfast contains the essential nutrition that
is needed for them to grow.
【描述人们的日常认知,像上面列举叙述的那部分一样,用现在的时态;nutrition 是不可数名词,be 用is】
And having breakfast
makes them feel energetic in the morning.
【动名词做主语,相当于第三人称单数;makes 后面可以参考them full of energy 这样的表达,避免重复出现同样的单词(energetic)】
3.
Staying healthy
【同第一处的说明,处理为动名词】
They feel they are healthy and are less likely to
feel ill.
【这里是否想用fall ill,“生病”?;they are healthy 可以替换为they are in excellent condition,供参考】
另外一点:
第一部分举例时,每一条后面都加了句号;第二部分则没有;建议保持一致。
文章结构完整;
词汇方面建议可以尝试多使用一些词组,固定表达等;
语法方面注意主谓一致等细节。
祝学习愉快!